My good friend Del Contival died, Sunday, at 12:50/31/7/2016. Long before that at my 70th birthday party in 2013 he had a near death experience that revealed his attitude about his death. This is my story of that experience as I learned about it and spoke about it with him at that time. Don Macken edited his own footage for this occasion and it has served well for many people who knew and loved Del. May it serve you too.
A few days before he passed, I went to Hawaii to visit with him. The following is my dairy of that time:
When I arrived in Kauai, at his home Del was sitting up in bed and very happy to see us. He was talkative and attentive. It was a marvelous evening.
The next day he never woke up. The nurse and Dr. both came in, described that he was well down the path to the end. He has days or hours or whatever. Last night was it! we feel blessed to have had such a rich connection.
I didn’t realize just how beautiful till we realized it was really the last real connection with Del. A short and quick end is what he wanted and he’s getting it.
Saturday, the third day, he’s still mostly out of pain and unconsciousness now pretty continually. The nurse came and talked to him. He actually tired to responded to her with his eyes opening. She talks to him and he responds a bit. We didn’t known that was possible. Very sweet. Even tender. She washed him and the bed and changed the diaper, a lot of pain while moving him. It’s over now and he’s back to a still, unconscious state again. He’s probably exhausted. Steady very slow breathing not very often. We’re hearing from Hospice that this may be the last time to connect. I’m going to say I love him and goodby, go to the light, go to the Master. And that many people I know are wishing him all the best. Perhaps I will know if he heard me, perhaps not.
Del died today, Sunday, at 12:50/31/7/2016 His breathing slowed and broke into apnea. The apnea gapes grew gradually slower as well for 15 or 20 minutes till they stopped finally and completely. Joan, his wife who lives here in their house on Kaua’i, Charmain his daughter came from Montana, Neil Brosnahan, lives a mile away and has been a steady friend for ages, Stephen Lang, a good friend came in from the big island, Greeley Wells, who flew in from Oregon all misted up with tears of missing and gratitude that his pain was now over. He is now content and we hope blissful, it is those left who now need to come to acceptance of the place he leaves empty in our world. I find myself finding it difficult to imagine a world without Del in it somewhere.
The Hospice folks were wonderful beyond describing and a sweet and efficient nurse was present at the death.
Thank you for all the understanding and sensitive notes, remembrances and missives that have come in.
Here is a slideshow about Dell, this one was created by Conder Seasholtz,
I am putting it here for your convenience.